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Friday, July 3rd, 2009

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ALL ABOUT THIS DAY

 

Today Is:

Friday, July 3rd, 2009!  It’s the 184th day of the year!  There are 181 days left in the year!

 

 

Born on this day!!  Movie director Ken Russell is 82. Singer Fontella Bass is 69. Actor Kurtwood Smith ("That 70s Show") is 66. Actor Michael Cole ("The Mod Squad") is 64. Country singer Johnny Lee is 63. Writer Dave Barry is 62. Actress Betty Buckley is 62. Guitarist-singer Paul Barrere of Little Feat is 61. Actress Jan Smithers ("WKRP In Cincinnati") is 60. Talk show host Montel Williams is 53. Country singer Aaron Tippin is 51. Synthesizer player Vince Clarke of Erasure is 49. Actor Tom Cruise is 47. Actor Thomas Gibson ("Dharma and Greg") is 47. Actress Hunter Tylo is 47. Actress Connie Nielsen ("Gladiator") is 45. Actress Yeardley Smith ("The Simpsons") is 45. Keyboardist-guitarist Kevin Hearn of Barenaked Ladies is 40. Singer Tonia Tash of Divine is 30. Actor Grant Rosenmeyer ("Oliver Beene") is 18.

 

 

 

THIS DAY IN GENIUS HISTORY!

 

·         1608 - Samuel de Champlain founded the city of Quebec.

·         1775 - Commander in chief George Washington took command of the Continental Army at Cambridge, Mass.

·         1863 - The Battle of Gettysburg ended.

·         1890 - Idaho became the 43rd state in the United States.

·         1930 - The U.S. Veterans Administration was created by Congress.

·         1962 - Jackie Robinson became the first African-American to be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

·         1962 - Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule.

 

 

 

 

 

Today Is: Compliment Your Mirror Day

 

This Week Is: National Prevention Of Eye Injuries Week, Fish are Friends Not Food Week, Freedom from Fear of Speaking Week, Special Recreation Week

 

This Month Is:  COMING SOON

 

 

TODAY ON TV!

 

Primetime TV (All Times Eastern)

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8:00 – Ghost Whisperer / 9:00 – Flashpoint  / 10:00 – NUMBERS  

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8:00 – The Chopping Block / 9:00 – Dateline NBC

abc logo SMALL

8:00 –  Surviving Suburbia  / 8:30 – The Goode Family   / 9:00 – According To Jim / 9:30 – According To Jim  / 10:00 -  20/20

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8:00 – Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? / 9:00 – Mental           

CW

8:00 – Privileged / 9:00 – Everybody Hates Chris / 9:30 – The Game

 

 

 

Early Morning News

CBS – The Early Show:.

NBC – The Today Show: The 70th anniversary of Lou Gehrig s retirement is discussed. Also: Today s Daily Dose

ABC – Good Morning America: Brad Paisley performs; chef Grady Spears.

 

 

 

 

 

TV Talk Shows

The View</b>: George Lopez, Mario Cantone, Lewis Black, MVP (R 6/19/09)
Oprah</b>: Cheryl Hines ( In the Motherhood ) is a guest on an episode devoted to motherhood.

Martha Stewart:.

Regis & Kelly</b>:  Brad Paisley, Neal E. Boyd
Ellen DeGeneres</b>: TBA

Rachel Ray: July 4th grilling; a So You Think You Can Dance segment; science experiments.

 

 

 

Late Night TV

Conan, NBC</b>:  Kobe Bryant, William Shatner, Incubus (R 6/17/09)
Letterman, CBS</b>: Kid Scientists, Teri Hatcher, Rick Ross with Magazeen, a Top Ten List presented by Ron Howard (R 5/14/09)
Kimmel, ABC: Josh Duhamel, Tracy Hutson, Bat For Lashes (R 6/24/09)

Carson Daly, NBC</b>: N.A.S.A. (R 3/6/09)

Jimmy Fallon, NBC:  Whoopi Goldberg, Stephen Baldwin, Keane (R 5/26/09)

Craig Ferguson, CBS</b>: Matthew McConaughey, Cokie Roberts (R 5/7/09)

John Stewart, COM:

 

 

Last Night On TV

GET LAST NIGHTS TV AUDIO HERE!!!
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ENTERTAINMENT STUFF

 

Top Movies

1

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

$112 million

2

The Proposal

$18.5 million

3

The Hangover

$17.2 million

 

*Genius Source: www.boxofficemojo.com

 

 

 

 

New Movies Opening This Week

 

 

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (WED) – After the events of Ice Age: The Meltdown, life begins to change for Manny and his friends: Scrat is still on the hunt to hold onto his beloved acorn, while finding a possible romance in a female sabre-toothed squirrel named Scratte. Manny and Ellie, having since become an item, are expecting a baby, which leaves Manny anxious to ensure that everything is perfect for when his baby arrives. Diego is fed up with being treated like a house-cat and ponders the notion that he is becoming too laid-back. Sid begins to wish for a family of his own, and so steals some dinosaur eggs which leads to Sid ending up in a strange underground world where his herd must rescue him, while dodging dinosaurs and facing danger left and right, and meeting up with a one-eyed weasel known as Buck who hunts dinosaurs intently.

 

Public Enemies (WED) – No one could stop Dillinger and his gang. No jail could hold him. His charm and audacious jailbreaks endeared him to almost everyone—from his girlfriend Billie Frechette (Cotillard) to an American public who had no sympathy for the banks that had plunged the country into the Depression. But while the adventures of Dillinger’s gang—later including the sociopathic Baby Face Nelson (Stephen Graham) and Alvin Karpis (Giovanni Ribisi)—thrilled many, Hoover (Billy Crudup) hit on the idea of exploiting the outlaw’s capture as a way to elevate his Bureau of Investigation into the national police force that became the FBI. He made Dillinger America’s first Public Enemy Number One and sent in Purvis, the dashing “Clark Gable of the FBI.’’ However, Dillinger and his gang outwitted and outgunned Purvis’ men in wild chases and shootouts.

 

 

 

 

 

CELEBRITY NEWS

 

 

 

Dead Pic Of Michael On Cover!!!

OK! Magazine has made the controversial decision to put a picture of Michael Jackson being rushed to the hospital shortly before being pronounced dead on the cover of their latest issue.  The tabloid reportedly paid $500,000 for the "last" picture of Michael Jackson which shows him on a stretcher. Putting the image on the cover has riled up fans with some calling it the "sickest magazine cover ever."  The magazine defends the move, according to their editorial director, "It's a photo that captures the surprise and the upset and the moment of this breaking news story. I hope the cover will provoke readers. It celebrated the man, but it also does expose that he was an eccentric character who lived a very controversial life."  And the questionable decision might do more harm than good for the magazine. A source tells the NY Post, "Media buyers have canceled upcoming meetings to discuss rates. It's a disgrace. They've sunk to a new low."  However a rep for OK! disputed the rumors, "This is untrue. No one at OK! has been contacted about any such cancellations as a result of the magazine's coverage of this news event.

Any pages booked by the advertising team are running as scheduled."

****SEE THE LARGER PIC HERE!

***We’re in the transition period of nice dedications to exploitation.

***Get those T-Shirt presses ready.

 

 

 

Rowe Wants Custody Of The Kids!!

Michael Jackson's former wife says she wants custody of the two children she had with the King of Pop.  Debbie Rowe told Los Angeles' KNBC she's, quote, "stepping up."  Rowe said she'll submit to any testing, including a DNA workup, to prove she's the biological mother of the children.  She said she'd made the decision to seek custody after Jackson's death.  Rowe is the mother of Jackson's two older children.  The third child was born to a surrogate mother who has not been identified.  She said she would be willing to take custody of the third child, as well.  Rowe and Jackson entered into an out-of-court settlement in 2006 about their children after a court invalidated an earlier surrender of her parental rights.  KNBC cites "The Los Angeles Times" in reporting attorney Eric George will represent Rowe at a custody hearing set for Monday.

****Let the Maury Show fun begin!!!

***I guess she saw those album charts too!

***Does this mean the kids can call her “Mom” instead of “flesh vehicle for our incubation?”

 

 

 

Jackson's Funeral Set??

Reports say Michael Jackson's funeral will be held at Tuesday morning at the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles.  Randy Philips, the CEO of entertainment company AEG, said the public service will begin at 10 a.m.  The Staples Center has a seating capacity of 20-thousand.  There had been speculation that the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, with its seating capacity of 90-thousand, would be the best site.  Jackson's brother Jermaine told NBC's "Today Show" he would like Michael to be buried at his Neverland Ranch in Santa Barbara County, California.  However, a family spokesman said Wednesday that no events were planned at the ranch. 

***Better make sure the WWE’s not scheduled to be there the same night!

***We saw how that could be a mess.

 

 

 

Where’s Bubbles???

Michael Jackson's pet chimpanzee, Bubbles, has been living life outside the limelight, munching on bananas in a Florida ape sanctuary, a center official said.  Twenty years ago Bubbles gained fame as Jackson’s sidekick, touring with Jackson, posing for media, even moonwalking for the media.  But at age 26, Bubbles retired to the Center for Great Apes outside Wauchula, Fla., lazing around with 41 other chimpanzees and orangutans in the tropical forest setting covering more than 100 acres.  "They relax. They take naps together. They might go up in the top of the cupola," said Patti Ragan, director for the Center for Great Apes, explaining how the apes spent their days. "They go out in the chutes and lie under a tree in the tunnel system. They groom each other and they fight and they have arguments, too."  Jackson purchased Bubbles when he was 5 months old. When the chimp became to much for Jackson to control, he was returned to his trainer, who then asked the center to take him in.

***Where’s Alfonso Ribero?

***He was like Michael Jackson’s pre-chimp “Bubbles.”

***We’ve all seen what happens to older chimps by now.

***Maybe that’s what happened to Michael’s first 3 noses!

 

 

 

Waxed Jacko On Display

Michael Jackson fans are peering into the windows of the Madame Tussauds wax museum in Washington, DC.  A replica of him is now on display.  Madame Tussauds in New York shipped the wax figure to Washington.  It will be on display for one week. 

 

 

 

 

Roddy Piper Arrested

Wrestling legend "Rowdy" Roddy Piper is facing charges following his arrest this morning in Hollywood on suspicion of DUI.  TMZ.com quotes law enforcement sources who say the 55-year-old wrestling star was pulled over by police at about 1:00 am yesterday morning.  He was arrested after undergoing field sobriety tests.  Piper, whose real name is Roderick Toombs, was jailed on five-thousand-dollars bond.  "Rowdy" Roddy Piper rose to fame during the wrestling boom in the 1980s, playing villain to fellow wrestler Hulk Hogan.

***This is shocking!

***Shocking that he didn’t get caught with weed!

***Roddy likes the herb:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvbW6UAdpsw

 

 

 

 

 

Coleman Wife Arrested

The wife of former TV child star Gary Coleman is facing domestic violence and disorderly conduct charges in Santaquin, Utah.  TMZ.com says 23-year-old Shannon Price was booked on the misdemeanor charges Wednesday night after she reportedly smashed up some of Coleman's property in their Utah home.  Gary was not injured in the incident.  Price was reportedly released on 12-hundred-dollars bond.  Coleman, 41, is best known for his role as Arnold on the hit 1980s TV series "Diff'rent Strokes."  He has endured his own legal woes over the years, including an arrest last year for hitting a man with his truck outside of a Utah bowling alley.  The incident followed an argument over the man snapping pictures of the former child star.

***Still one of the more successful showbiz relationships!

***He told her “Don’t make me Dana Plato you!”

 

 

 

Jack Ass Gay Marriage

TV stuntman Steve-O is fronting a new campaign for gay marriage advocates, in which he dons a bridal gown and locks lips with his heavyweight bodyguard.  The heterosexual Jackass star agreed to pucker up for the NO H8 posters because he's opposed to the idea of gay people not being able to wed legally in the state of California.  He chose to smooch bodyguard Reggie Pace for one poster picture, and he wears a wedding dress in another campaign shot.   Steve-O jumped at the chance to be a part of the campaign because he was appalled when his state's lawmakers outlawed gay marriage following the Prop 8 vote last year. He says, "I've always thought of California as this really awesome, liberal, great place... It's such a let down that we seem to be the American capital for gay bashing."

***Isn’t it cute when the burn outs get political!

***I noticed since Steve-O went sober his stunts have gotten A LOT less painful!

***This is really Reggie’s stunt!

 

 

 

Leno Website

Comedian Jay Leno has won the right to take control of a website bearing the name of his new talk show.  He was stunned to discover TheJayLenoSh

ow.com was already taken and called in the United Nations' World Intellectual Property Organization to investigate. The domain name was registered in 2004 by Texas resident Guadalupe Zambrano, who used the page to direct visitors to his own real estate website.  However, officials at the United Nations body have ruled Zambrano had no legitimate reason for setting up the web address and have ordered him to transfer ownership to Leno.  His new program is due to be launched in September.

***UNWIPO is one of the funnier acronyms.

***www.JayLenosChin.com takes you to a taco stand in Reseda!

***I never thought I’d miss Jay Leno so much.  He can thank Jimmy Fallon for that.

 

 

 

Jolie Made More

Angelina Jolie has topped a new list of high-earning actresses - earning $2 million more than her partner Brad Pitt's ex-wife Jennifer Aniston last year.   Jolie banked $27 million in the last 12 months, according to finance magazine Forbes. The bulk of the Tomb Raider star's 2008/2009 income reportedly came from her share of the profits from her action film Wanted and her paycheck for new film Salt.   Marley & Me and new film The Baster swelled Aniston's fortunes, and put her in second place on the new Forbes list. Aniston also still earns big cash from re-runs of Friends.  Meryl Streep came in third and Sarah Jessica Parker and Cameron Diaz round out the new top five.  Forbes tallied the actress' film payments and cash they made from clothing brands, perfumes and other sources to come up with the list.

***Time for cougar Jen to pounce on some young Hollywood meat before she starves!

***How much does Lois Griffin get from episodes of “The Family Guy?”

***That show seems like it’s on one of my channels all day!

 

 

 

 

FUNNY BIT WITH A FAKE JON GOSSELIN!!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/6670edb858/match-com-jon-gosselin

 

 

 

 

CELEBRITY PHOTO OF THE DAY!

 

 

 

 

 

KEVIN JONAS IS LOSING HIS VIRGINITY TO THIS GIRL!

 

 

 

 

 

Ripping The Tabloids (Throughout the week, we’ll give you the stories from that weeks tabs!)

**Please Credit Publication!

 

national enq

Bad Taste Bourdain

Loud-mouth, potty-mouth chef Anthony Bourdain, host of TV’s “No Reservations,” erupted in a barrage of nasty name-calling when an autograph-seeking female fan dropped by his table at Seattle’s Alibi Room – where he was dining with TV chef pal Mario Batali – and made the dire mistake of mentioning kitchen rival Rachael Ray! The whole joint woke up when Bourdain bristled, then bellowed: “Racahel effing Ray is NOT a chef! She’s a T-Rex, an effing rhinoceros, a no-neck, gravel-voiced, MAC-N-CHEESE MAKER!” As diners stared and Fan Gal turned bright red, gallant Batali held up a hand and stopped Bourdain cold, snapping: “Hey, Tony, enough is enough! Rachael happens to be a good friend of mine – I won’t have you talk about her that way!” Bourdain shrugged, turned to the woman and – giving Batali a slap on the back – told her: “Actually, my dear, this is my favorite chef!” Rolling her eyes, the lady mumbled, “Whatever!”.. and split quick.

 

 

the globe

Beatty It!
Annette Bening was really rude to a fan who kindly asked for her autograph at Los Angeles Airport the other day. The actress was traveling to New York with her and hubby Warren Beatty’s 14-year-old son Benjamin, but refused to acknowledge the gal and rushed right past her. At least her kid had the good graces to stop and chat for a minute, telling the woman, “Sorry, we’re in a hurry,” and to “take care.”

 

 

us mag

Hefner Says, “Hugh’s Who?”

Can Hugh Hefner tell the difference between his twin girlfriends, Karissa and Kristina Shannon, 19? “One has a little mark. Other than that, I don’t know,” the Playboy founder, 83, said June 16. Kristina confirms to US, “He has trouble telling us apart!” Adds Karissa: “We were playing dominos the other day and Kristina won. And Hef said, ‘Yay, Karissa won!’ We just laughed and let it go. We don’t care if he mixes us up.”  

 

 

star mag

Overheard in Hollywood

“Her haircut is a hot, blooming mess… That’s my biggest problem with the whole situation!”-Ana Oritz thinks Kate Gosselin needs a makeover

“I’m a real relationship person, contrary to public perception.”-Sienna Miller  

“Babies are the new black. For a while it was cool to carry your dog on the red carpet, and now it’s cool to bring your kid.”-Melissa Joan Hart

“I aint got a gun. I never really been in a club. Still live with my parents, but I’m still a thug!”-Taylor Swift tries her hand at rap

“I begged to have them let me do a nude scene… I said, ‘Well, it’s a comedy, and I’ll get laughs, I guarantee it!’”-Betty White on The Proposal

 

 

life and style

Drew Takes a Romantic Vacation With Her Man 

Drew Barrymore and Justin Long clearly don’t require five-star accommodations when they travel. The on-again couple recently road-tripped in an RV, hitting the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival in Tennessee and then heading south to Miami. Once there, they got decked out to watch the Florida Marlins play baseball on June 20 before hitting the Delano hotel to party the night away. “Drew and Justin seemed truly in love,” an onlooker told Life & Style. “They were all over each other and very happy.”

 

 

people mag

Celebs Reveal How They Proposed 

The proposal in The Proposal? Not so romantic (it’s a scam). These stars tell how they really popped – and responded to – the big question.

RACHAEL RAY AND JOHN CUSIMANO! Rachael: I thought the ring was a key ring, because I was always losing the keys to the apartment!

“REAL HOUSEWIVES’” SIMON VON KEMPEN AND ALEX MCCORD! Simon: We were on a nude beach. I told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

LL COOL J AND SIMONE SMITH! LL: I drove my Porsche 110 mph and wouldn’t slow down until she said yes!

HOPE DAVIS AND JON PATRICK WALKER! Hope: We were at a beach. He buried the Tiffany box in the sand. Jon: My biggest fear was that I’d forget where I buried it.

 

 

in touch mag

Leighton’s Devastated Over Sex Tape 

Gossip Girl’s Leighton Meester is fuming about an alleged X-rated video that’s being shopped around for $100,000. “It was years ago, when she was going through tough times,” a set insider says of the sex tape, which supposedly was shot with an ex-boyfriend when Leighton was 18. “She was always acting out in different ways and rebelling when she was a kid. Now she’s devastated.” The insider adds that the star, now 23, is hoping to lay low, but that will be tough with her show back in production: “Everyone is buzzing about this on the set.” But the embarrassing situation could have a silver lining: Some insiders close to Leighton allude to the fact that her CD is coming out and any press is good press.

 

 

 

 

AROUND THE WORLD

 

 

Palin vs Obama??

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the former Republican vice presidential nominee, said she thinks she can win running against Obama -- that is, in an actual footrace.  Palin said in an interview with Runner's World that she would "absolutely" accept an invitation to go running with President Barack Obama and she said she is confident she would win in a race.  "I betcha I'd have more endurance," she told the magazine. "My one claim to fame in my own little internal running circle is a sub-four (hour) marathon. It wasn't necessarily a good running time, but it proves I have the endurance within me to at least gut it out and that is something. If you ever talk to my old coaches, they'd tell you, too. What I lacked in physical strength or skill I made up for in determination and endurance. So if it were a long race that required a lot of endurance, I'd win."

However, Palin was less confident about her ability to beat Obama in another activity they are both known to enjoy.  "People have asked if I'd ever challenge him to one-on-one because we both love basketball," she said. "But look, he towers over me and I wouldn't be complaining about an unfair advantage there, but maybe I'd do better playing H-O-R-S-E with him than one-on-one."

****What about a moose jerky eating contest!?!

***Dog sledding!!  There’s no way a Portuguese water dog will beat a huskey!

 

 

 

 

 

EVIAN WATER HAS A NEW COMMERCIAL!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs&feature=player_embedded

 

 

 

 

 

 

STUPID NEWS

 

 

 

Naked Passenger

A naked passenger caused quite a stir during a US Airways flight.  Officials say the Tuesday trip from Charlotte to Los Angeles was diverted to Albuquerque when Keith Wright stripped while sitting in his seat.  He also allegedly refused to get dressed or wrap himself in a blanket.  Officers helped restrain him when the plane landed at Albuquerque's International Sunport Airport.  He was then taken into custody by FBI agents before the flight went on to its destination.  The 50-year-old Wright is from New York and faces interfering with flight crew members and attendants charges. 

*****How come the only people who get naked in public are only the ones “we don’t” want to see???

***Why didn’t they just go to LA?

***It’s the one place where something like that is acceptable!

***Here’s the real question:  Who had to sit in the seat after him?

 

 

 

 

Drive Thru Funeral

A Canadian funeral home in southwestern Ontario is taking a community-friendly trend further by offering free coffee to commuters at a drive-through window.  For the next nine weeks between 7 and 9 a.m. on Wednesdays, drivers can pull up to the window at the Bowman Funeral Home in Chatham for a free cup.  Manager James MacNeil said the inaugural giveaway confused some commuters.  "They keep asking us what we are doing -- I just say 'no, really it is free coffee,'" he said. "We just want to reach out in a way that is not spooky or weird the way a funeral home can be."  Rick Ludwig, past-president of the Ontario Funeral Service Association, said there is a growing trend of funeral homes becoming more active in communities in ways not associated with death.  Along those lines, MacNeil said his business is also a supporter of the Ontario Senior Games, which will be hosted by Chatham this year.

****Because nothing says “coffee” like a corpse!!

***I refuse to eat anything consumable from a funeral home!
***I’ve just seen too many 70’s horror movies for that.

***Especially when it’s free!

 

 

 

 

Dumb Criminal

Authorities in Virginia say a man used a cell phone to record himself stealing iPods and charity money from a Sears store.  Police said June 22nd security camera footage from the Greenbrier Mall store in Chesapeake recorded a man with a T-shirt over his head stealing nine iPods and two jugs of Heroes at Home donations for needy military families at about 9:45 p.m. while recording himself committing the crime on his cell phone.  Nathaniel Forester, 20, was arrested and charged with grand larceny and entering a building to commit a felony. He allegedly sent the video of himself committing the crime to his ex-girlfriend after giving her one of the iPods as a gift.

Authorities said iPod cases, wires and two big blue plastic jugs filled with $18.49 in change were seized from a garage belonging to a friend of Forester.

***I think you should steal stuff you’re smart enough to have!

***Even the iPhone has an app. for not being a dumbass.

 

 

 

 

Career Criminal

Authorities in Louisiana say a man was arrested three times in a little more than a week for allegedly repeating the same crime -- not paying a restaurant bill.  The Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office said Michael Bryant, 36, of Tucson, Ariz., was first arrested June 22 after he refused to pay a $23 check at Melancon's Annex in Metairie, La.  Bryant was released but then sent back to jail a few days later when he refused to pay a check at Pitre's Restaurant in Westwego. Once again he was released. His third arrest came Monday when he refused to pay his bill at Sun Ray Grill near Gretna.  Officials said Bryant was released because overcrowding at the jail requires many non-violent offenders to be freed to make way for those accused of violent crimes.  Bryant, who was charged with defrauding an innkeeper, was being held Tuesday in Jefferson Parish Correctional Center in lieu of $1,000 bond.

***So he gets arrested for not paying, goes to jail…and they feed him!

 

 

 

 

 

Pig In The Pool

An Arkansas woman said she was shocked when she looked out a window and saw an 800-pound pig taking a dip in her backyard pool.  The pig, a survivor of a crash involving a truck carrying 90 sows to a processing plant, was discovered Monday by LeAnn Baldy, who lives in an unincorporated neighborhood near the interchange of Interstates 40 and 430.  "It's crazy, it's really crazy," Baldy said. "I'm just shocked. It's cool. Not many people look out their back window and see a pig in their pool."  The pig's death sentence was commuted by Jim Stonehocker, executive vice president for Odom's Tennessee Pride, which had planned to use the truckload of hogs to make sausage products.  "We could not put that into the meat stream," he said. "For a week it has been in the wild. What has happened to it? What has it been in contact with? You need to know what your hog has been eating."  "We believe this hog has earned the right to go and do something else," Stonehocker said. "We're in that process. We don't have it totally resolved."

***Which means he’s going to become a football!

***I thought if we didn’t know what the pig was eating, it became SPAM.

 

 

 

 

TV Fire????

In Germany, it must rank among the easiest fires ever to put out. Zurich authorities say police and firefighters were called to the house of an elderly woman early Thursday after she reported her television set was burning. When they arrived, they discovered no signs of fire or smoke.

They found instead that the TV was tuned into a German station that in the early morning hours aired the constant image of a fireplace.  "The fire was extinguished with the press of a button," police said in a statement.

***They then resuscitated the man’s wife by inflating her further.

****Blow in…PLUG!

 

 

 

 

 

Sex Scream

Police say a Connecticut girl overheard her mother's screams during sex and thought she was being assaulted, so she rounded up some friends to attack the woman's companion. The 16-year-old girl, two boys and a 19-year-old man were arrested Tuesday and arraigned Wednesday on assault and conspiracy charges.  According to Torrington police and the woman, the girl thought her mother was being attacked on June 6. Police say the teens went into the bedroom and beat the mother's 25-year-old companion with a baseball bat and punched him. The man, Roger Swanson of Torrington, says he suffered a black eye and several bruises.  The woman, Melanie Arnold, denies she screamed. She tells The Associated Press her daughter heard a slap and thought it was an assault.

***The mom was hooking up with a 25 year old!

***The should have called it a cougar attack!

***Hey Mom.  Don’t admit to the “slap.”  The scream is easier to explain to your kid!

 

 

 

 

MUSIC NEWS

 

 

 

Wonder Salutes Michael

Stevie Wonder is remembering the late Michael Jackson on stage.  He performed Tuesday night to launch the Montreal Jazz Festival.  Rollingstone.com says Wonder paid tribute to Jackson several times during his performance.  He set the tone at the start of the show, telling the crowd, quote, "I want for us to celebrate the life and the legacy of Michael Jackson."  He added, quote, "We can continue to keep the life and spirit of this man's music alive forever."  Wonder's tribute began with the concert kick-off -- "I Can't Help It," a Jackson-Wonder composition from Michael's "Off the Wall" album.  Word of Jackson's sudden passing last week is said to have hit Wonder hard.  While countless performers were coming forth with reactions and memories just hours after Michael died, a statement from Wonder's camp noted Stevie was too "emotionally distraught" to make an immediate comment.

 

 

 

The Other Jackson's Home For Sale

Alan Jackson's house is now on the market.  But the singer isn't just giving away his Sweetbriar estate.  He wants 38-million-dollars for his 19-thousand-square-foot Franklin, Tennessee home.  RealEstalker.com says the sizeable structure boasts six bedrooms, seven full bathrooms, and two half baths, as well as a 20-car garage and a gymnasium.  In addition, the property includes a two-bedroom log cabin and a barn with a second-floor two-bedroom apartment.  The land rests on the Harpeth River, and has three small ponds as well as a stocked and aerated ten-acre lake with a white sand beach and a boat house.  Jackson revealed earlier this month that he was planning to sell the property.  He said he has made some great memories at Sweetbriar raising his children, but admitted it's a lot to maintain and he's ready to downsize.  Jackson has lived at Sweetbriar for the past 17 years.

*****Remember.. his wife just wrote a book about all his “cheatin’ ways”…

*****I think that’s why he’s really selling it!!!

 

 

 

Kevin Jonas Pops The Big Question

The oldest member of pop-trio the Jonas Brothers is taking himself off the market.  Twenty-one-year-old Kevin Jonas tells "People" magazine he has asked his girlfriend of two years to marry him.  He showed up on the New Jersey doorstep of 22-year-old Danielle Deleasa on Wednesday morning and got down on one knee.  Jonas said, quote, "She said yes, yes, yes like 500 times super fast in a row."  Jonas presented the bride-to-be with a Jacob & Co diamond ring he designed himself.  Deleasa said, quote, "It still feels like a dream."  The couple met in 2007 while vacationing with their families in the Bahamas.  Deleasa says Jonas eagerly pursued her after spotting her walking on the beach with a flower in her hair. Jonas' wedding proposal came amid his current world tour with his brothers Joe and Nick.  He said performing Tuesday night in Vancouver was difficult for him knowing that he was going to pop the big question the next day.  He calls his wife-to-be, quote, "the most amazing girl in the world."

*****Sex anyone???

*****Virgin on line 4!!!

***Calm down Tweenies…we’re just the messengers here!!

***Being a 22 year old virgin, this is going to be like waiting for Christmas morning when you’re a kid!

***The question isn’t the only thing about to pop!

 

 

 

 

"Guitar Hero" Awards

Lynyrd Skynyrd, Queen, Kiss, and Iron Maiden are among the winners in the "Guitar Hero Smash Hits 2009 Music Awards."  More than 700-thousand people took part in the online vote.

 

Winners of the "Guitar Hero Smash Hits 2009 Music Awards"

Best Guitar Riff - Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Free Bird"
Best Guitar Shred - Dragonforce "Through the Fire and Flames"
Best Vocals - Queen, "Killer Queen"
Best Bass Lick - Iron Maiden, "The Trooper"
Best Drum Fill - Kiss, "Rock and Roll All Nite"
Best Breakdown - Slayer, "Raining Blood"
Best Intro - Nirvana, "Heart-Shaped Box"
Best Scream - Avenged Sevenfold, "Beast and the Harlot"
Song of the Year - Avenged Sevenfold, "Beast and the Harlot"

 

 

 

 

 

A LIST FOR FRIDAY!

 

 

 

Sexually Active, Satisfied U.S. Cities

A new Trojan survey shows that residents in the Georgia city are the most sexually satisfied in the country, with 73-percent saying they're pleased with their sex life.  Atlantans are also among those having the most sex.  Atlanta residents make love an average of 88 times a year, which is slightly above the national average of 84 times.  Only the folks in Houston report getting intimate with their partner more frequently, at 101 times

 

The Trojan States of Pleasure survey results:

Sexual Frequency by City (per year)

1. Houston - 101
2. Atlanta - 88
3. Washington DC - 86
4. Los Angeles - 82
5. New York - 80
6. Boston - 79
7. Chicago - 73
8. Dallas/Ft. Worth - 73
9. Philadelphia - 73
10. San Francisco - 60


 

Rates of Sexual Satisfaction by City

1. Atlanta - 73-percent
2. New York - 71-percent
3. Houston - 70-percent
4. Dallas/Ft. Worth - 67-percent
5. Chicago - 66-percent
6. Los Angeles - 66-percent
7. Washington DC - 65-percent
8. Philadelphia - 64-percent
9. San Francisco - 63-percent
10. Boston - 60-percent

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

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